Writing samples
Marked by Time
Original Plumbing magazine (Sep 10, 2013)
My gender change meant estrangement from my family
Globe and Mail newspaper - Facts and Arguments section (Feb 22, 2011)
Original Plumbing magazine (Sep 10, 2013)
My gender change meant estrangement from my family
Globe and Mail newspaper - Facts and Arguments section (Feb 22, 2011)
My Big Decision
This audio letter was aired on CBC Radio One as part of the YourDNTO segment of Definitely Not the Opera (January 2011)
My big decision dates back seven years ago when I was 24 years old. I was struggling to find my place in the world and had a strained relationship with my family. The choice facing me was whether to transition from living my life as a woman to beginning the transformation process to become the man I felt myself to be. I had struggled for years to come to terms with my own sense of gender, as well as my sexuality, and had sunk into a depression from which I thought there was no way out. My situation was made harder by the fact that my father was a psychiatrist who believed transsexuality was a delusion that needed treatment through psychotherapy, not surgery. I knew if I moved forward, I might lose my family for good. I knew if I didn't move ahead, I might lose myself.
I met people who had made the journey from one gender to another, or who were in the process. I also took a course in human sexuality and read about people just like me: people who did not fit comfortably within the confines of the gender roles presented to them. Some made the choice to change their bodies and their legal status. Others chose to live out their truth in other ways. I had to decide what I needed to feel in harmony with myself. The choice itself was more a leap of faith; a step into the unknown.
Once I made the decision to start hormone treatments I didn't looked back. It was the greatest, most terrifying moment of my existence. And it changed me in profound ways. It also had severe consequences. My father, outraged and disappointed and convinced I was making a mistake, passed away from cancer soon after I began transitioning. My family blamed me for making his burdens so much heavier. Despite this I know that my father loved me, and I believe he knew that I loved him too, deeply. I am glad that I had the chance to speak to him about my decision before he died.
It has not been an easy road, my transition. But today I am a much happier 31 year old man working toward building a better future for myself -- thanks to a family of friends and mentors who have guided and comforted and supported me. Their kindness and acceptance continues to inspire me.
This audio letter was aired on CBC Radio One as part of the YourDNTO segment of Definitely Not the Opera (January 2011)
My big decision dates back seven years ago when I was 24 years old. I was struggling to find my place in the world and had a strained relationship with my family. The choice facing me was whether to transition from living my life as a woman to beginning the transformation process to become the man I felt myself to be. I had struggled for years to come to terms with my own sense of gender, as well as my sexuality, and had sunk into a depression from which I thought there was no way out. My situation was made harder by the fact that my father was a psychiatrist who believed transsexuality was a delusion that needed treatment through psychotherapy, not surgery. I knew if I moved forward, I might lose my family for good. I knew if I didn't move ahead, I might lose myself.
I met people who had made the journey from one gender to another, or who were in the process. I also took a course in human sexuality and read about people just like me: people who did not fit comfortably within the confines of the gender roles presented to them. Some made the choice to change their bodies and their legal status. Others chose to live out their truth in other ways. I had to decide what I needed to feel in harmony with myself. The choice itself was more a leap of faith; a step into the unknown.
Once I made the decision to start hormone treatments I didn't looked back. It was the greatest, most terrifying moment of my existence. And it changed me in profound ways. It also had severe consequences. My father, outraged and disappointed and convinced I was making a mistake, passed away from cancer soon after I began transitioning. My family blamed me for making his burdens so much heavier. Despite this I know that my father loved me, and I believe he knew that I loved him too, deeply. I am glad that I had the chance to speak to him about my decision before he died.
It has not been an easy road, my transition. But today I am a much happier 31 year old man working toward building a better future for myself -- thanks to a family of friends and mentors who have guided and comforted and supported me. Their kindness and acceptance continues to inspire me.